You've come a long way, babe. That's what Dr. Martha shows in the chapter about her divorce in Catholic Daughters of Catholic Mothers. In this excerpt she shows her willingness to challenge the beliefs of the day and set her life on a nontraditional path.
My D I V O R C E
Naturally, I was taught that marriage is for life. If you got divorced, you weren’t allowed to remarry unless the first marriage was annulled. You could be divorced in the “eyes of the state” but not in the “eyes of God.” It’s because God joins the couple in marriage. Yes, God is there at your wedding, securing your vows. The vows are between the couple and God Himself. I’d say, “or Herself” but we’re talking back in the 70s, so I’ll go with the feeling of that day: God is male.
Anyway, I got divorced when the kids were about 2, 3, and 6. We had a regular dad goes to work and mom (me) stays home life, but I wanted what I called “freedom.” Their father was a good guy, hard worker, but I wanted to finish college and not just be a stay-at-home mom. I wanted to help stop the nuclear power plant, Marble Hill from being built across the river from where we lived.
The kids and I moved out of the house, and visitation was set up. I enrolled at the University of Louisville and got a job with a group called The Senate of Religious. One day I was telling my boss, Sister Mary Claire, that the kids and I needed a place to live. Lo and behold, she knew of an empty rectory—of all places—that the pastor of the parish would rent to us for very low rent. He was willing to do that because there was a group of retired ladies who played Bingo in the large front parlor once a month. He wanted the rectory to have some life in it, some cleanliness in it, so it was ours. But what a spot! It was a mess! My brother John—God love him—came down for a few weeks to clean up the place for us. He literally hosed down the first floor. Really, he took a garden hose and washed it from ceilings to floor. We put a roach bomb in the kitchen and came home to a sheet of roaches covering every appliance. Ugh. But it had an enormous kitchen, living room, three bedrooms, multiple bathrooms, and even an office where I could study.
Did you grow up in a divorced family?
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