Imagine watching a movie where every few seconds a narrator interrupted to explain what the main character was thinking.
- "She noticed the door was open."
- "He realized someone had been inside."
- "She wondered if it was safe."
- "He thought about running."
The story would feel slow because you wouldn't be experiencing the events yourself. You'd be watching someone else experience them. The same thing happens in writing. Many writers unintentionally place readers outside the story by constantly telling them what characters notice, realize, wonder, or think. These words create distance between the reader and the action. Instead of experiencing the moment firsthand, readers are asked to watch the character experience it.
What Creates This Distance?
Words like these are often called filter words because they filter the story through the character's mind before it reaches the reader. Some of the most common include:
- Thought
- Wondered
- Realized
- Noticed
- Remembered
- Considered
- Decided
- Knew
None of these words are wrong. The problem is how often they're used.
Readers Already Know Who Is Thinking
Consider this example from Sleeping Beauty:
Aurora wondered if the castle was abandoned.
The sentence tells us she is wondering. Now compare it to this version:
The castle stood silent. Dust covered every window. Had anyone lived there for years?
Readers naturally ask the same question Aurora would. The thought becomes their thought. There's no need to announce that Aurora wondered.
Let the Scene Do the Work
Strong writing often allows readers to reach conclusions alongside the character. Consider this example:
The prince realized the bridge had collapsed.
Now revise it:
The bridge ended in splintered beams hanging over the river.
Readers don't need to be told the prince realized something. By removing the filter, you allow readers to participate in the discovery instead of observing it from a distance.
Thoughts Don't Always Need Labels
Many internal thoughts can simply appear on the page without explanation. Instead of:
Snow White thought the Queen looked unusually calm.
Try:
The Queen looked unusually calm.
Or, if you're writing in close point of view:
Why was the Queen so calm?
The second version places readers directly inside Snow White's perspective. They don't have to watch her think. They think with her.
Let Questions Create Curiosity
Writers often use wondered when the sentence is already asking a question. For example:
Hansel wondered whether they would ever find their way home.
The word wondered adds very little. Instead:
Would they ever find their way home?
The question immediately creates tension because readers ask it along with Hansel. The experience becomes shared rather than reported.
Thoughts Can Become Narration
One advantage of close point of view is that much of the narration already reflects the character's thinking. Consider this example:
Little Red Riding Hood thought the forest seemed darker than before.
Now compare it to:
The forest seemed darker than before.
Or stronger still:
The forest had grown dark enough to swallow the path.
The narration itself communicates the character's perception. No explanation is necessary.
When Thinking Words Matter
Like every editing guideline, this one has exceptions. Sometimes the act of thinking is important. For example:
After hours of arguing with himself, the prince finally decided to climb the tower.
Here, the decision itself is part of the story. Or:
Only then did Cinderella remember the second slipper.
The memory is the event. In these situations, the thinking word contributes meaning rather than merely introducing it.
A Quick Editing Exercise
Open one chapter of your manuscript and search for words such as:
- Thought
- Wondered
- Realized
- Noticed
- Knew
- Remembered
- Decided
- Considered
Review each occurrence and ask yourself:
- Can readers experience this directly?
- Can I show the evidence instead of explaining the thought?
- Would the sentence become stronger if I removed the thinking word?
You'll probably discover that many of these words are acting as filters rather than adding meaningful information.
Let Readers Think Too
One of the greatest pleasures of reading is participating in the story. Readers enjoy making connections, asking questions, and reaching conclusions for themselves. When every observation is labeled, every realization is announced, and every thought is explained, readers become spectators instead of participants. Trust your readers. If the clues are on the page, they'll notice them. If the evidence is there, they'll connect it. If the emotion is genuine, they'll feel it.
The next time you revise, pay attention to how often you're telling readers what your characters think. You may discover that the strongest scenes are the ones where readers don't watch your characters think. They think right alongside them.