editing

One of the easiest ways to weaken a sentence is to begin it with “There was” or “There were” or “There is.” These sentence openings rely on a placeholder instead of leading with the person, object, or action that actually matters. While this structure isn’t always wrong, frequent use creates slow, indirect prose and hides the real subject of the sentence. Consider this example from the world of Pinocchio: There was a boy standing in … Read more

One of the easiest ways to weaken a sentence is to begin it with “It was.” Writers use this structure constantly in early drafts because it feels natural while telling a story. Unfortunately, sentences that begin with “It was” often delay the real subject of the sentence and drain energy from the prose. Instead of presenting a clear image or action, the sentence introduces a vague placeholder. Consider the difference. It was strange for Pinocchio … Read more

One small word can quietly drain energy from a memoir: would. Writers of fiction and nonfiction often use would when describing past experiences, but the word frequently creates distance between the reader and the action. Instead of stating what happened, the sentence shifts into a conditional or habitual structure that weakens the verb. Consider this example: Pinocchio would lie whenever he was afraid. This sentence summarizes behavior rather than showing it. Now compare it to … Read more

Words like seemed, appeared, and phrases such as seemed like often weaken a sentence by introducing uncertainty where the writer could state the idea directly. These words act as filters between the reader and the moment being described. Instead of presenting the experience clearly, the sentence suggests that the narrator is interpreting or guessing. Consider this example from the world of Pinocchio: It seemed like Geppetto was disappointed. Now compare it to a more direct … Read more

Many early drafts contain sentences weighed down by wordy clauses—phrases that add length without adding meaning. These clauses often appear in forms like: Writers use these constructions when they are explaining a thought instead of stating it directly. The result is a sentence that circles around the idea rather than delivering it clearly. Consider this example from the world of Pinocchio: Now compare it to a cleaner version: Pinocchio realized that lying always made his … Read more

Passive voice occurs when a sentence hides or removes the person or thing performing the action. Instead of showing who is responsible, the sentence focuses on the result of the action. This structure is not always wrong, but it often creates sentences where the subject becomes unclear and the prose loses energy. Consider this example from the world of Hansel and Gretel: Hansel and Gretel were led into the forest. The sentence tells us what … Read more